PhanPhics
by miss selah
Summary: Welcome to the World of Bad Phics. Leave your intelligence at the door, please.


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_The High-School Phic_

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Inuyasha Taisho walked up to her new skewl, ttly late. After all, what other way can u walk up 2 skewl? There is no other way! His long, white air was twisted in to the kewlest gothic dreads, and it was shimmering blue-silver in the rising sun, with streaks of gold, because gold was a pretty badass color. Inuyasha, in fact, was pretty badass himself. He had gotten kicked out of his old skewl for reeking general havoc on the population and kicking kittens. Damn kittens.

"Lyk, OMG! I'm ttly going to be late!" A shrill voice cried out in the morning. She came charging around the corner, because that's what corners were there for, and crashed in to Inuyasha, full-force.

"Hey, what do you –" Inuyasha had to stop his rant her, because the sight of her was that kewl. Her hair was long and black, with streaks of pink, which he thought was pretty badass, and she wore a corset top with pink ribbons and a pink-plaid skirt and a backpack that said OTAKU in a vivid yellow. It was gross. But other than that, she looked pretty badass. It made him forget that he was a total dickhead who wanted nothing to do with her. In fact, he loved her, right than and there. But he couldn't let her know that.

"Oi, bitch. You're fat. Go detect something, wench." It was ttly uncalled for, but how else was he supposed to hide his feelings. Not to mention the fact that no one said wench anymore.

The girl began fume. "Yeah, well youre lyk, ttly a jerk, Inuyasha!"

He wasn't sure how she knew his name. Generally, people did. After all, he WAS the main character.

Come to think about it, all the bad plot signs had pointed out the she should be the herione. 1.) The sight of her had knocked all previous personality traits out of his head, making him ttly OOC. He was NOT an OOC kind of person. Why couldn't people just understand that he only wanted to be loved? 2.) He called her fat. Duh. 3.) She was all over him. The first female to fall on him was ALWAYS the herione.

"Well, whateva. Show me to my classes, bitch."

Apparently, his rough outer demenor didn't deter Kagome, in all her outcast glory, from smiling at him. "O, yeah. Show me your classes."

Inuyasha reached in to his pants pockets (which were red) and handed her a paper (which was also red) that was written on red paper with dark red brown ink.

"I didn't know the skewl printed things out in this ink." Kagome noted, awed.

"It's blood. I'm ttly badass."

"Oh, that explains it." Kagome read the classes. "Lyk, OMG! We tttly have all the same classes. C'mon, let's go! We'll be late!"

The bell rung for second period.

"Bitch." Inuyasha said, because she might start to think he liked her. Lyk, like liked her. And that would ttly ruin his bad-ass demenor.

LUNCH

KAGOMES POINT OF VIEW

OMG, I thought. He's ttly hawt stuff. I hope he hasn't ever had a love affair with my cousin, Kikyo, who is a total bitch to me, probably because she's a cheerleader and cheerleaders r always total bitches in phanpics. Whoops, I just broke the third wall. Hope no one noticed.

I watched Inuyasha walk ahead ofme with a swagger that just made me feel all horny n' stuff inside. After all, anyone who can sway his hips lyk a girl is ttly hawt.

Suddenly, I remembered something.

"Hey," I asked, grabbing Inuyasha's shirt. "Didn't I know you once at the beach?"

INUYASHA'S POINT OF VIEW.

Oh noes. She's remembering a past that the author forgot to tell the readers! Shit! She knows all of my secrets, because we are rlly best friends, only we haven't seen each other since we were lyk, two! How the hell does she remember that!?

"Umm. . . no. Not me." I lied, because I'm good at that.

But apparently she doesn't think so.

KAGOME'S POINT OF VIEW

He's lying. I can smell it.

GENERAL TOGGLING OF POINT OF VIEW (a cookie for you if you can keep up.)

"I'm not lying." I lied.

"Yes you are!" I didn't know who he thought he was fooling. I remembered now. That long, white hair. Chiseled two-year-old body, magnificent in the sun on the beach. Man, that boy could fill out a diaper. "You and I dated that summer, and then you cheated on me with my cousin!"

Damn, how in the world did she remember that? I wondered. "I didn't cheat on you!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah you did! You gave her your cookie! I wanted the cookie! WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE THE COOKIE TO MEH!?!" I began to cry, because I'm a good herione and know when someone should cry.

"You're confused. Let's have an inconveintly placed flashback to tell the truth."

"No!" I cried out. "There's nothing more annoying than a flashback! Especially when all of a sudden, _everything is in italics and __**bold." I stopped, because the sudden change in script style was more than I could bear. **_

"_**Well, fuck." **_

FLASHBACK

"_**Omg, Baby Inuyasha! I'll love you 4eva, 4 rlly!" Baby Kagome promised baby Inuyasha in the baby sort of way. **_

"_**Hoo-sha!" Baby Inuyasha said in a bad-ass baby voice. "I'm sexy." **_

"_**Oh, Inuyasha!" Baby Kikyo cried out, wearing a baby cheerleading costume and generally whoring herself all over the screen for readers to hate her a lot. "Will you give me your cookie?" **_

_**Baby Inuyasha looked between Baby Kagome and Baby Kikyo. "Look, Baby Kagome, it's been fun, but I dated Baby Kikyo b4 u, and so I think it's only fair that I go and let her have my cookie." Only he used baby words, so it came out in sort of a goo-goo ga-ga kinda voice, with a few words thrown in. Also, he ended it with poopy. Not the word. Just poopy. **_

"_**OMG, Baby Inuyasha, lyk, NO!" Baby Kagome cried.  
**_

_**END FLASHBACK **_

"See, Inuyasha? I TOLD you you gave her your cookie." I told him in a just-so voice.

"Well, that doesn't matter. Character development aside, I need to tell you I love you. I always have. I haven't stopped thinking about you in all these years. Will you date me and we can rule this skewl together?"

I paused, waiting to see her reaction.

"OMG, I thought you'd NEVA ask!"

And then they go to class, where Inuyasha is friends with Miroku, Kagome is friends with Sango. There is fighting, cheerleaders getting in between them, Kagome and Inuyasha split up, Miroku and Sango get them back together, in result getting _themselves _together. There is a parade of secondary characters, more fighting, and then a big dance. Probably a bully, too.

_The End._


End file.
